lol two Jenna Maroney arcs in one

thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-purpose-of… "The Purpose of This Meeting is to Discus Our New Health Benefits and Dispel The Rumors That I am Three Toddlers in a Trench Coat from TV, Film, and Internet" By the one + only Tessia Sue Phillips (yes relation)

"11:16 a.m. I take a coffee break and scroll through my Instagram. I really need a digital diet. Not a food diet, though: I am going to eat your parrot." JD Vance Imagines a Day in the Life of a Pet-Eating Immigrant by Felipe Torres Medina in McSweeney's mcsweeneys.net/articles/j-d-v…

"7:30 a.m. The alarm rings on my phone. My home screen’s background? A picture of an adorable Cavapoo named Lucky. He was so cute, I could eat him up. Which I did. I hit snooze. Chompin’ on pretty pups can wait." mcsweeneys.net/articles/j-d-v…

GIRLS WHO LEAVE CLOTHING REVIEWS WITH THEIR HEIGHT WEIGHT AND SIZE ORDERED ARE GOING TO HEAVEN.

Gregor Samsa woke one morning and SZA said “THIS BITCH?”

It is my god given right as a Kansas City sports fan living over the past decade to have every playoff run end in a Super Bowl or World Series appearance, and, frankly, I’m outraged that my rights have been stripped away.

My friend Joe Posnanski asked me to write something reflecting on the 2024 Kansas City Royals season, but it seemed hard to capture without writing about what it means to be from KC right now, so I wrote about “The New Confidence of Kansas City.” Please enjoy. joeblogs.joeposnanski.com/p/the-new-conf…

We will pay the U.S. government $701 a year to play this at naturalization ceremonies.

Nutritionally what will happen tonight is off the record

oops this made me cry! The American Family is a blended family <3

Special Agent Timothy McGee Hive Rise Up

Real ones know..

Nonfiction editor @mcmurtriesf recommends AMERICA, LET ME IN (⭐️) by Felipe Torres Medina on Fully Booked 🎧 ow.ly/U3Bl50V4iGR @abramsbooks

.Felipe Torres Medina on finding the humor in immigration. lithub.com/how-to-write-a…

Look who it is! A perfect, thoughtful interview by james folta

tkp.substack.com/p/a-new-advent… A new one for substack!

Writer for The Late Show, Felipe Torres Medina's #AmericaLetMeIn is out now! A choose-your-own-adventure immigration story that manages to be laugh-out-loud funny without undermining an important topic. Buy it here: bit.ly/41nxm0G

substack.com/home/post/p-15…

posted too early. saw a better one 10 min later :/