My wife is browsing at Michaels and I’m doing this

One of the best

It’s very weird hearing Walton Goggins speak in a normal voice. He should always sound like Uncle Baby Billy

Talking to my wife about getting more paint and a new kitchen table. This is why we’re together

Been a Jon Gries fan since he played Wolf Man in Monster Squad and Rusty on Seinfeld. Glad he’s been a major player on White Lotus now for 3 seasons running. And I think we haven’t seen the last of Gary/Greg.

Nobody loves movies more than this man

Finally watching The Pitt and after 5 episodes of watching Dana, I was like I know her from somewhere. Her facial movements finally clicked and I remembered where I knew her from: She gave Jerry the lie detector test on Seinfeld to confirm whether or not he watched Melrose Place.

Maybe the best song on the new Coheed album

I miss this band

Having an email address is brutal. You buy one item from a company and suddenly they think you want to hear from them daily. Like I only needed one jacket, guys. I’m not gonna buy 47 jackets from you. Just the one will do

Yep, that dude is definitely the president of Ireland

That family is gonna have one wild summer

I don’t know how to explain this but Nathan Fielder is not insane. He’s TOO sane, if that makes sense

This photo of llamas in my kid’s book looks like George W. Bush being told 9/11 happened

"Rear-End" was sick on the day they made this commercial.

I keep this knife in my kitchen in case Aladdin breaks in and tries to steal some bread.

[at airport] Customs Official: Do you have anything to declare? Southern Belle: No