trying to get ahead in the poles

sometimes it's hard being a woman, but it's all worth it when another woman says "I love your dress!" and you say "it has pockets!!" and you're both so happy for a minute

proud to have a new piece up on The Belladonna 🇺🇸❤️🇺🇦 about my favorite thing: bars that treat kids and parents like trash! medium.com/thebelladonnac…

Monopoly anyone? The great ⁦Talia Argondezzi⁩ and I wrote this piece about the dreaded family game night. “How To Win Family Game Night” by Talia Argondezzi & Jeff Bender medium.com/slackjaw/how-t…

i have a new mcsweeney's out today, tag yourself and/or your annoying friends mcsweeneys.net/articles/makin…

read this new humor article from me and Jeff Bender before you agree to a board game medium.com/slackjaw/how-t… thanks, Slackjaw 🚀

Writers: We are all Clementine

One of my most strongly held beliefs is that if you write down an earnest answer for Final Jeopardy, you don’t get to also write a joke or a hello to someone. jokes/hellos only for losers who have no guess

Love clicking on “personal life” on Wikipedia to get celebrity dirt and it’s just like “he’s a supporter of Tottenham F.C.”

writing tip: to build suspense, put in fourteen chapters detailing the classification of whales

I’m reading/performing some humor in NYC on Sat Nov 16, with a truly awesome lineup of funny people- come if you can! caveat.nyc/events/slackja…

Just saw a commercial that said nothing feels as good as driving a new Hyundai and now I’m trapped in a spiral of sadness

All I can let myself feel today is gratitude that Devorah Blachor exists mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-don…

Wrote a Thanksgiving piece for McSweeney's! Note my silence on mashed potatoes, which are, yes, amazing mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-t…

uh-oh, new phobia just dropped (getting murdered by someone better-looking than me)

Happy First Day of Being Haunted for the Rest of Your Life by Something a Student Wrote in Your Course Evaluations Day to all who celebrate

Me and Jared Bilski #4 on McSweeney’s this year! I’m in my feelings (joy, pride, and pre-disappointment that this can’t possibly happen again next year)

On Tuesday night, I'm doing a humor writing workshop - it's pay what you wish and all proceeds benefit a literacy organization in Norristown, PA. In-person only (in Norristown). Please come and/or share with your Philly-area friends! eventbrite.com/e/how-to-write…