Signing books during the mass signing at Pennwriters. I've signed a lot of copies of THE MOUTH OF THE DARK. I don't think these people know what they're in for. I told one person the book is weird. She said, "How weird?" And I'm like "Ubhh. . . " #notgettinginvitedbacknextyear

It wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't get irrationally mad at family over underlying inadequacy issues. #NotGettingInvitedBackNextYear

It must be frustrating for will.i.am to coach the losing team and screw up the half-time show. #notgettinginvitedbacknextyear