in honor of #DocAfterDark and May the 4th...
did you ever cross your mind to wonder if Chewbacca has a red rocket down there?
and now you can never unsee this question
Just a reminder that if you were named after your dad,
odds are pretty good
your mom has moaned your name during sex at least once
#DocAfterDark
Doc 🌊🌊🫶🏻✨Miz 🍑Peachy 🍑 Keen 🤟🏼🍀✨💙🇺🇦💛🌊🌊 LAinRearView 🇺🇦 🌊 Mystic Queen of Maybe (Jan) 🏴 Vivien Celosia2🌼Kristi🪴🌿💚 GenTXer2 Sandra Longpre 🟧 The Pizzler 🟧 Barry ‘Wieds’ Wyattlovesmusic Antonio 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇪🇸 KG wants everyone to stop the hate Albert Ortenzi Paul: The Celtic Seer 🏴 🇺🇸 🤨 A fake porn site offering a 'day job?' Not quite the type of job that would entice people...😏😆. #DocAfterDark
You should NEVER be SO CHILDISH to consider buying a tiny electronic gizmo that makes the sound of a smoke detectors dieing battery every couple of minutes...
and if you do you should absolutely NEVER hide it behind your ex's glove box...
#DocAfterDark
amazon.com/Chilpals-Crick…
I scared the postman today by going to the door naked.
I’m not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
#DocAfterDark
You cant fight Destiny.
if you try to fight Destiny,
then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too
#DocAfterDark
Just cause you can do something, don't mean you should do something
did you know Amazon sells traffic cones?
I mean they let ANYONE buy these
where do YOU want traffic to go today?
Reason #2932 why I should not be left unsupervised
amazon.com/Traffic-Traini…
#DocAfterDark
PSA Of The Day
If you mix human DNA and Zebra DNA
they will kick you out of the zoo!
#DocAfterDark
why isnt there a pregnant Barbie Doll?
Because apparently, Ken comes in a different box…
#DocAfterDark
when women wear a bikini, women expose 90% of their bodies…
I try to be polite
so I only look at the covered parts…
#DocAfterDark
my penis was in the guinness book of world records!
Until the librarian asked me to take it out
#DocAfterDark
I arranged a threesome a couple of weeks ago…
There were a couple of no shows, but I did alright
#DocAfterDark
My wife and I have at least one thing in common. Neither of us will give a BJ.
Though maybe this would be something for #DocAfterDark
My doctor told me to stop masturbating...
when I asked why, the doctor replied…
because I'm trying to examine you!
#DocAfterDark
do ya know what the similarities are
between a rubics cube
and a penis?
Turns out the more you play with them, they harder they get!
#DocAfterDark