I got some new makeup today and it came with this picture of eyes. My kid put it over her face and I almost died.

Dear every man in America, I’m sitting at the bar by myself because I want to. Please be self-aware enough to know when we are simply not interested in carrying on conversation. Sincerely, All women

Not sure who graded these eggs as Extra-Large, but I'm guessing it was a guy.

Anyone else drinking alone at home on a Saturday night? No? Just me? Ok.

My hair when I don't straighten it is just fucking unruly. I should shave my head.

I'm sorry I didn't text you back I had writer's block

My daughter asked what year I was born. I said "82." She said "...1882?"

Give yourself the respect to progressively learn. Progressions remove the fear. Good things take time to build 💪🏽

I hope you all have a bad ass day. ✌️

I present to you all, Trump's crazy letter as the Star Wars crawl

Happy birthday Marshall Mathers. Sincerely yours, Stan, Ps. We should be together, too.

New profile picture, who dis?

Maria missing from Tennessee for 3 years.

Happy Spooky Night everyone!

#TBT

Back in the design game. Eastern Architects is a #Texas architectural #design firm specializing in modern, commercial construction projects. View More here - dallasdesignco.com/work/eastern-a…

Hey Twitter.