Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile
Sylvia McCallum

@sylviamccomedy

tens of tens of views on Instagram // “It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” J.R.R. Tolkien. // Nationally Booking Comedian //#Momedy

ID: 937886919219990528

linkhttp://SylviaComedy.com calendar_today05-12-2017 03:30:41

549 Tweet

62 Followers

154 Following

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Anyone who says moms let themselves go have no clue what they’re talking about. I haven’t had the chance to pee in 2 weeks.

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I think I’m young and tech saavy and then I scroll my photo album and see how many accidental screenshots of my homescreen I really have.

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

“Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.” — Gandalf; one of my fav things to read before bed parade.com/1090013/jessic…

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

These fall festivals are cute but give me Awktoberfest. Every booth another uncomfy experience. Your ex’s mom is waiting for you by the corndogs.

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Someone at work told me they would send me a zip file and I asked if it was because it was cold and so pretty sure I’m getting fired.

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My favorite thing to say when someone offers to help me lift my bag into the overhead compartment is “don’t worry. I’ve been working out for this” and then I proceed to do a 30 minute Zumba routine showing zero arm strength.

Sylvia McCallum (@sylviamccomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

We are extremely humble millennial parents reading & teaching things like this to our flock of young humans, and we just wanted to say to the world, you’re welcome.

We are extremely humble millennial parents reading & teaching things like this to our flock of young humans, and we just wanted to say to the world, you’re welcome.