Can someone call me an ambulance?

I have read this, and read this, and read this. I’m not sure that I ever need to read anything else.

*Superman walks into a press conference with glasses on* Crowd: *Superman removes glasses* Crowd: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

'i want another baby but i dont want to take care of it' -my wife

Two women, who wear shorts in public for the first time, draw male attention and cause a car accident! Toronto, 1937

It's true. I have an extra Galaxy Fold to give away. Just follow both Marques Brownlee and dbrand here on Twitter to be entered to win. That's it. Winner will be randomly picked in a week. Good luck!

I watched the ENTIRE THING, and it only gets better. These two make Union Square Station a goal destination instead of a means by which to travel. They’re incredible. This is glorious madness. Anyone know who they are? x.com/mattwhitlockPM…

top tips for today: keep that back straight, stay hydrated and keep that bitterness to yourself! you’ll be thankful when you’re 50. 🖤

Retweet if you spot the Batman !! #BatmanDay 🦇

okay nvm its settled :) take a look at my header :)

This is brilliant.

When Trump is asked about impeachment:

These are the children of firefighters who died on 9/11 who became firefighters today as graduates of the FDNY academy

This is the most extraordinary red carpet Q&A exchange I've ever seen...

is remembering actor Christopher Reeve on his birthday.

Amazon executive promotes the company’s new Echo Buds ... while wearing AirPods 9to5mac.com/2019/09/25/ama… by Chance Miller

I’ve been wearing the same pants for eight years

if you retweet this I’ll