fuck the police free palestine burn the usa to the ground goddamn goddamn

phone might die but selfie will still happen

the usa is so evil and embarrassing

the worst people you have ever encountered are on a flight to denver right now

challengers this…challengers that…i’m challenging myself to not cry all day!

okay i swear it’s true even if this isn’t showing it

wouldn’t wish having a feeling on my worst enemy to be frank

he really will NEVER.

but also he invited my long time bestie to go to playoff hockey with him (and still refers to him as a kid despite the fact he’s a home owning father of 2) and that’s so cute and wholesome. 😭

my mom should tweet “you wouldn’t last a day in the asylum you raised me in” with a picture of the mental hospital she did inpatient rehab in as a teenager

a fun thing to do at a bar is leave the last two people you liked sitting together while you go to the bathroom

got too nervous and caught up in being a weirdo to be a freak this week and i’m mad at myself for it 🙃 oh well

the good news is that i look LUMINOUS on zoom today

just had an absolutely hilarious realization

i LOOOOOOVE arguing with my cat. she has no idea we’re doing it and somehow i always lose. symbolic of life in general.

will my dad ever realize i do not have cable and cannot turn on fox sports west? (no)

quite frankly, the love and dedication i put into making sandwiches would scare a lot of you hoes

it is a terrible no good very bad day for me to have a migraine so of course i have one

Allie truly has the best group of friends ever, we killed it tonight 🧅 allie-um 🧄

NEVER beating the “freakishly obsessed with the crunch crunch of celery” allegations, I fear

🧅 allie-um 🧄 stunt.