I would like to thank Sen. Gruenhagen for this opportunity to share my favorite Catholic school sex ed story.

Thank you Sen. Gruenhagen, you asked for it.
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By rights, you should be hearing this story from my mother, a retired Catholic school teacher and former nun. She tells this story very well, if she can stop laughing long enough.

If you went to Catholic school, you may remember the sex ed curriculum: 'Here's how sex works, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.'

Mom was teaching sixth grade that year, I think, and her students wanted to know why -- if premarital sex was a sin -- why would anyone want to have premarital sex?

Mom had no choice. She had to try to give her students an honest answer.

Sex, she explained, can give people an 'all-over good feeling.'

And then she pivoted right back to the importance of waiting for marriage et cetera et cetera.

The next day, a father stormed into the principal's office.

(It wasn't Glenn Gruenhagen, but honestly that's the only way I'm going to be able to picture him from now on.)

'Did Mrs. Brooks *really* tell the students that sex gives people an 'all-over good feeling?'' he demanded of the principal.

'I believe so. Yes,' said the principal, who happened to be a nun.

'But sister,' he said. 'We both know that for the woman, that's just not so!'

After the distraught man finally left, the principal -- who again, I cannot emphasize this enough, was a nun -- turns to my mother and says:

'Well, now we know why his first two marriages ended.'