My horse almost won the race. He was close, but no Shergar… #LunchPun

We couldn’t find the host of You Bet and Game for a Laugh when he hid on the farm. It was like looking for a Beadle in a haystack. #LunchPun

The first person eliminated in the Scrabble contest gave a short speech. He was a man of few words. #LunchPun

I love the song about Aerosmith finding a mitten in a lift. 🎵Glove in an Elevator🎵 #LunchPun

My ex sent a picture of us horse-riding. She was hoping it might stirrup some emotions. #LunchPun

Welcome to the interactive psychedelic mushroom experience. We hope you enjoy your trip. #LunchPun

I piled up 10 duvets, then I fell into a deep sleep. #LunchPun

Which Vice President could help me progress my next movie? A.D Vance. #LunchPun

My new pig scented perfume will not be called Peppa spray. #LunchPun

Sports equipment is sold at my corner store. You can get a vaulting pole over the counter. #LunchPun

Which Star Wars character helps when I have a headache? Anadin Skywalker. #LunchPun

Got a job typing up soldiers info into a romance app. It’s date a sentry. #LunchPun

My partner ordered me to stay still while she laid out tiles all over my body, then knocked them over with a flick of her finger. She’s a dominotrix. #LunchPun

I need a tasty snack, but someone has stole my vegetables. “Potato scone?” “Yeah, they took everything”. #LunchPun

I made 1000 hurdles using recycled rifle parts but no-one wants to buy any. I probably shouldn’t have jumped the gun… #LunchPun

I struggle to do anything when I visit Prestwick, and I’m sure there’s a name for it? “In Ayrshire?” “That’s it. Inertia.” #LunchPun

Which Lady can I share a secret with? Chantelle. #LunchPun

The magician performed his trick while it was foggy. He used mist direction. #LunchPun

An amphibian has hopped off with my shoes, but I think I can visit his pad later. “Steal toad boots?” “No, I’ll just retrieve my trainers”. #LunchPun

I spotted the singer of “Stand by Me” while holidaying in Alicante. “Benidorm?” “No, it was Ben. E King”. #LunchPun