Every year around this time, I realise I have not made the progress I expected. I have let myself down but more importantly I have let those around me down. I think it’s time to except defeat and admit to myself, I will simply never have any chill around wasps.

Clearly I’m late to the party, but just finished #Killingeve what a bloody joy.

Today I dropped my phone and smashed the screen. Now I learn how addicted I am to social media. Am I willing to risk glass shards in my thumb to scroll pictures and opinions I can barely see.

“The amount I receive is not for public disclosure.” Dispatches reveals that Brexiteer and Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg may have earned at least £7 million since the 2016 EU referendum, from an investment firm he partly owns - which has seen its profits increase since the vote.

I always feel a huge sense of achievement when I manage to sneak up on my dog.

Yes, pick me. I’ll teach you to look indifferent whilst blocking jammers.

Seeing the concussion ad reminds me, are @wftda doing research into a possible link between Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) and roller derby? From what I’ve read Derby is a high risk sport for CTE and considering it leads to dementia I’d appreciate some reassuring words

Today I learned to use a sewing machine, I broke three needles and nothing actually stitched together but I consider it a new skill.

Just locked eyes with the neighbour across the way as I absentmindedly stared into thier kitchen. Already booked a moving service.

I've had multiple stress dreams about growing my hair recently. Who knew it would be a source of such internal conflict.

One day I’ll nail the ability to carry a load of washing away from the dryer, minus basket without leaving a trail of underwear and socks

“It’s too hot for jeans.” Said no English person in October ever..... until now. Saying it to my dog counts.

I was thrilled when I thought I finally had a partial black eye from the game yesterday, but it turns out my bags are just encircling my entire eye.

I’ve been thinking long and hard and I can’t understand how this song wasn’t number 1 all over the world when it came out. Basement Jaxx feat. Robyn - Hey U youtu.be/cS-jiqk2zP8 via YouTube

I can’t stop thinking about how great Thor Raganrok is.

Group food, I wish I could be the person that takes a my share and let’s it go but I’m not. I stare at what’s left, my mind blown that someone hasn’t taken enough, bastards are giving my anxiety. I want the last ratty fucking olive.

Watching Bake Off on netflix makes me miss the UK so much.

Happy Thor Ragnarok realised on ITunes day

I love Thor Ragnarok so much I’m seriously considering a new skate name. Either Baby Arms or Get Help.

Have been growing my hair for a year, today is the hair appointment I have to decide between keeping it long and making a daily effort or cutting short and going back to minimal effort. I want beachy wavy bob but im sooooo lazy.