Only one more day to win a FREE COPY of my diaries, folks. Simply RT the below and a signed copy - worth in the region of £14,000 - will be winging its way to you. 'The greatest political memoirs of the century,' - Lulu.

Phew! I finally made it on to this #Edfringe recommendation list for week 2 Edinburgh Festival Fringe tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/accid… [Character comedy, Week 2, 12th - 17th August] ⚠️😎

Here we go - suitcase packed & heading up to #Edinburgh this weekend ready for week 2 Edinburgh Festival Fringe Paradise Green 12th-17th 11:40am - "Accidental Pop:..." a super safe poptastic start to your day at #EdFringe24 tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/accid…

Some great tips for Edinburgh Festival Fringe including deadly serious poptastic safety training every day at 11:40am Paradise Green #edfringe recommendations

Another batch of trainees successfully completed safety training today Paradise Green Edinburgh Festival Fringe - 11:40am tomorrow we go again! tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/accid…

I have been taken in for questioning - but I repeat I did not put this cone on this statue to promote safety in Edinburgh! But thanks to whoever did...my "Accidental Pop..." show is at 11:40am Paradise Green ⚠️😎

Newsflash: Ian Crawford's manager ends up providing emotional support and criminality for the wonderful Frankie Monroe...

Thanks to all who supported my deadly serious daftness this week - ace dancing from Shay & Alexia (Australia's Dancing Dozen) & Jo Judges on tech & thanks to my fab venue Paradise Green sad to be leaving Edinburgh Festival Fringe the mission to spread the global safety message continues ⚠️😎

Thinking of switching from an electric car to dog power? There's less range anxiety as long as you always carry a tin of Pedigree Chum.

Join us this Thurs Aug 29th Gloucester Brewery for a great night of laughter with Andrew Bird Ian Crawford Jim Brown, Sian Fisher and Compere Nik Hill still a few tickets here: funhousecomedy.co.uk/venues/glouces…

Exciting news -Sheila in the office is with Giff Gaff and got VIP access - she has booked us all tickets for £13.75 each (including booking fee)!! She swears it's legit and it's definitely Oasis: seetickets.com/event/definite…

Tonight I was helping deliver deadly serious cutlery safety with some help from audience volunteer Cain the fork Gloucester Brewery - stay safe your certificates are in the post ⚠️🍴

The mythical 5 pronged fish fork in all its glory 😍 - stay safe ⚠️🍴

We know about the potential dangers of social media but what about the emus!? Stay alert, stay safe 🦆

I’m stopped at Cullompton Services topping up on travel sweets—better safe than sorry 🍬 Off to Cornwall to sort this H&S disaster! Head-bumping kids on stones? 🤦‍♂️ Time to knock some sense into this shambles! ⚠️ edition.pagesuite.com/popovers/dynam…

Join me for some poptastic safety training next week at 1pm on Sunday 6th October at The Victoria in #Birmingham followed by some very funny comedy - courtesy of the Birmingham Comedy Festival ⚠️🕺🍴😎 bhamcomfest.co.uk

Our ace FREE HALF-DAYERS are back! 👉 16 shows 👉 2 Sundays 👉 2 venues No booking required, just turn up. Sun 6 & Sun 13 Oct Cherry Reds 🇪🇺🍒💙 & The Victoria 👑 From 1pm Full details on our website bhamcomfest.co.uk

Come along to Kings Head Hotel on Fri Oct 11th for a night full of laughter with paul mccaffrey Richard Morton Ian Crawford and Compere Demitris Deech still a few tickets here, get yours now: funhousecomedy.co.uk/venues/cirence…

Oh what a night we had at Kings Head Hotel - I can declare Cirencester is now cutlery, clacker and grizzly bear safe! Your training certificates are in the post ⚠️🍴🐻 ...tonight it's Oldham with hilarious Harry Stachini Dominic Collins and MC legend Bobby Murdock #StaySafe

Tonight I am looking forward to supporting the Wolfman Comedy night in Camden Werewolf Beer - Now Open in Camden! 🇺🇸🐺💂 & fighting off Werewolves in London - armed only with a teaspoon 🥄🐺⚠️