Here's a look at Joe's meal plan:

Breakfast

Weekdays:

• 1 normal banana because I'm fucking normal
• 1 can of diet coke pretty often if we're honest

Weekends:

• IDK some cold pizza or something
• pretty much always the diet coke. i'm hungover leave me alone

tears in my eyes saluting so hard i pull every muscle in my body

if football was just about winning trophies it would be meaningless for the vast majority of people in any given year

not being able to see that losing a kid would be worse is just narcissism though

receiving an email from the boss titled process documents and being struck by haunting premonitions of hours of my life i'll never get back

guy at the station in a red hat with a white bobble... santa on his holidays

two pints and watching arsenal get knocked out of the champions league 🤌🤌

off to bjj so when i finally come face to face with this sodding mouse i can ably defeat it in hand to paw combat

to the mouse that neatly sidestepped the carefully laid trap to leave a dropping right behind it - well played

i keep reading this as chicken. in which case knock yourself out, more delicious pieces for me!

ok i'll bite, who's taylor swift

i should be allowed to close for six weeks for refurbishment

Pleased to see our ⁦School of Sport and Health Sciences⁩, ⁦Heriot-Watt University⁩, ⁦Hong Kong Baptist University⁩ study published in ⁦British Journal of Sports Medicine (BJSM)⁩.

All media enquiries to the PI Professor Yannis Pitsiladis at [email protected] bjsm.bmj.com/content/early/…

people on here will be saying things like i've never seen a shot like this, this is a director at the peak of their craft, this movie will resonate through the ages and you get to the end of the post and the movie is the ratchet and clank spin off

i am becoming old and wise (waking up from a nights sleep with a mystery new pain)

it hurts to see someone else living your dream

so when weed inevitably gets legalised in thirty years does that mean people born after 09 will have to be smoking nuclear strength joints

i'm a simple man. i like it when jos buttler does well, even if it's in a game i didn't know was happening until after the fact