he is not stunning he is soggy and little

Oh you just randomly went through months of photos on your phone from 3 years ago and you thought you wouldn’t feel unbearably weird after?????? You fool. You fucking child

Just thought about the fact that it’s gonna be dark at 5 pm soon and started hyperventilating

BREAKING: @Gardainfo issues an urgent CRI alert over missing Daisy Hall, a five month old baby girl, who was in a car hijacked in central Dublin this afternoon.

'Yes, sir. He's barricaded himself in. He's taken two sausages'

me reading the all-staff “friendly reminder” email that is absolutely about me

can you believe there are people out there in the world that don’t know what teams is…never seen or used outlook….don’t know what an authenticator app is….they are truly the blessed ones

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear

BREAKING: Paul Mescal shares his experience meeting King Charles III "I wanted to strangle the inbred c*nt with my bare hands"

This type of justice is so rare that I could cry with happiness. All solidarity with Nikita Hand, an extraordinarily brave woman. Fuck Conor McGregor for eternity.

BREAKING: No comment from Conor McGregor as he leaves court to a media flurry,

Oooh low blow from SH....MLM can't hide her delight .. #leadersdebate

i have lived a thousand lives since

'Christmas markets with this one'

Me when when I didn't pay for my death notice.

Hi mate loving the 2024 dump. Remember when we went to Boom Battle Bar in October...you said it was the best laugh you'd had all year...didn't make your top 20 pics. 4 photos of the Charli XCX gig though. Weird.

me knowing that time is arbitrary but people collectively choosing to believe in a fresh start is a beautiful reflection of the optimism of the human spirit

sorry i looked at your instagram story 11 seconds after you posted it but you have to understand i haven’t put my phone down in 6 years

Gavin Pepper asks all the hard questions journalists are afraid to ask... Is a pigeon wearing clothes real