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i gotta chill on these edibles man… i just recognized this dude in the movie im watching and i said “where do i know that guy from” and it turns out i was just remembering him from earlier in the movie

dinosaurs always get the short end of the stick in the movies. i have never seen a movie where the dinosaurs are better off at the end

we need more heroes like this

Please DM me right now

tell me why i got huzz dancing to lcd soundsystem at the bar off the touchtunes rn

he’s asking for forgiveness for making all those people eat worms

I just did a social media cleanse for four days. What I learned in the time was one of the most important lessons I ever learned: it sucked and I’m never doing that ever again.

when your shirt feels too small

every picture i have seen of tate mcrae she is making the same face my mom used to make when she looked at my report card

if i’m chopped and you’re screwed who’s producing this remix

my dumb ass friend just fell for the oldest trick in the book

I started keeping a journal bc i realized im living my good old days. they gave me free fries at mcdonalds

I worked at Circle K for a week once but I got fired when my manager found out I didn’t have a cracked windshield or smoke cigarettes

has anyone seen any good paintings recently

they made up stories about my losses when i was down, now they lie about my wins bc they hate to see me up.

the new chips delivery just hit the gas station by my house.

I forgot about my roast in the oven and now my big dinner is ruined

Me and my friend are about to check out the new hospital in town