FUCK THE YOU!

Aaron Rodgers came out of his darkness and saw his shadow, 6 more months of trade talks.

I should do a video for this one shoutout DJ Spark of Sandpeople on the wheels of steel open.spotify.com/track/6CoSUkJa…

Target just asked me if I wanted a 2 year protection plan on a $9 usb cord. If I could only keep a receipt longer than two weeks, it would be a no brainer.

Why’s the microwave plate spin the other direction after you restart it? One minute I’m checking on my lasagna, next it’s moonwalking.

Protect kids against everything but guns.

What’s in Julio Rodriguez🇩🇴🦁’s pockets? #LightenTheLoad #WhatsInJrodsPockets? Seattle Mariners

There are people who put the pizza directly on the rack and there are people who never have to call the fire department.

90% of the time, people use “90% of the time” when they don’t know the actual statistics.

Just overheard someone walk by a an open store saying that it had gone out of business. 🤷‍♂️

I’m not sure who need to hear this… but if so, use the speak text feature.

Did you guys see Awkwafina in the new The Little Mermaid movie? Yeah, ocean plastic 🤦‍♂️. #HEYYO!!

Just gave some family an hour and a half long Lyft ride and they tipped me with right wing religious propaganda. There’s no punchline.

Predemic.

Podcast are always advertising on podcasts like, “Listen to my podcasts on wherever you listen to podcasts”… Well here’s my new hit podcast about bad commercials for podcasts called - I Know You’re Already Not Going to Listen. Listen to IKYANGtL wherever you listen to podcast.

I’d watch an RFKjr bio flick if Quentin Tarantino directed it… but I’m not voting for him or anyone that psychopath endorses. #QuentinTarantino QuentinTarantinoNews 🧠 🐛 🐻 🔪🐋🪚

Hey Elon Reeve Musk, imagine you & Donald J. Trump solved homelessness & gave everyone healthcare. Imagine how restorative that would be for your images & perceptions of one a clown, the other a nazi. Imagine the outlook & perception you’d give people by making an impact for good.