That feeling you get when you see a "This message was deleted by the author" in response to one of your tweets. One of two things... 1. They were gonna give you shit but decided against it. 2. They were giving you shit but decided it wasnt worded strongly enough. We wait......

Is anyone else sick of blue tick accounts asking bleeding obvious questions like, 'Is Five Guys overpriced shite?', or 'Do you think Keir Starmer is doing a good job?' I'm gonna start blocking these engagement whores.

Tell us you're a weak, pathetic excuse for a man without telling us you're a weak, pathetic excuse for a man. 🤔

You know what to do, folks. 😉 petition.parliament.uk/petitions/7184…

Seems I'm in a drum and barse mood tonight. 🎵🎶🎵

Looks like summer's on the way out. Had to light the old chim-chimineee!

Yep, the whole fucking shitshow from top to bottom! 💥

Exhibit 'A' .

Exhibit 'B'

Night folks. I'm knackered, had a few, and got a very poorly pooch to look after. Catch you later. 👊💥

'Scrumpy & Western' 😂

Found one. Wanker Finder Retard Finder

Exhibit 'C' 🙄

Exhibit 'D' 🙄

Exhibit 'E'. Although on this occasion I will take part... Sean Lock.

Exhibit 'F' 😂

His reputation precedes him! 😂

I imagine there are around 1400 teenagers from just one of fifty or so towns who've probably thought about doing something similar at some point.

Think I'll call it a night. Laters, taters.

It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow. I'd better nip down to the garage. 💐