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with everybody i move on from in life, they never move on from me. it’s always an obssession bc of revoked access :/

the doctor is neither near nor far

Women are so brutal when they’ve moved on, so brutal they act like they never knew you existed.

Overheard my 4yr old talking to my husband last night. 4yr old asked why he had to go to work tomorrow and he explained. He asked why mommy doesn’t go to work. Husband said “mommy doesn’t go to work for money, but mommy does work very hard. She works to make sure you and your

Imagine if a woman had to org*sm in order to get pregnant by a man, there would be like 11 people in the world

I watched this tik tok of this lady talking in her sleep and she was cussing somebody out and her husband woke her up and was like “we gon find you another dream” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

when she accused me of having sex with her then boyfriend… mind you i was 12

Smart dude

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst

Imagine getting this story and responding “wow” and immediately moving onto the next question. Ok.

Barack turned the other way like that's his family

mind u this how we found frank ocean

The other day, I woke up to both of my parents knocking on my door. Now, mind you, they are divorced, so this was terrifying.

I tried to talk my girl through it and I came first smh

The way this made no noise at all still kills me

i somehow never realized that you’re just awake for like 16+ hours while giving birth, and then once you’re done with this incredibly taxing endeavor, you’re handed a baby that needs to eat every 3 hours.

MAC I love you