The White House intends to insist That trans people do not exist And by definition Can’t have recognition. However, they do and are pissed.

Prediction: John Mulaney inherits SNL from Lorne Michaels.

Bob Mueller wrote in & objected On seeing his work disrespected. The AG, he found, Had jerked him around, Which maybe he should’ve expected.

Is there a German word for the moment in a show when the character you expect to get into the passenger side of a car jumps into the driver’s seat, but then you remember this is a British show and the car is reversed? Thinking something like automobile-surprise-driver-reset.

It’s terrifying..

Oh yeah. This is in the back of my mind literally every time I sign up for a thing...

Or, just do your best and live your life. If you need an antidote to this thread, try this: x.com/wdmorrisjr/sta…

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

Hell is listening to an endless audio book narrated by Ted Cruz.

You can't see it right now, but I am flicking off Paul Ryan. #SOTU

Now I'm flicking off Kim Davis #SOTU

.The Economist ranked a Donald Trump presidency as the third greatest threat to the global economy. #RNCinCLE

@jeffkelleyrva sharif He probably would just so he could flick off Hillary on a weekly fly-by.

The TSA vow is my favorite. It's the presidential equivalent of more ice cream at lunch and longer recess. #RNCinCLE

One of my favorite offices in the company... x.com/justalittleLun…

Quick! Someone photoshop that Mount Rushmore! #VPDebate

What's up with those weird green and black cell phones that everyone is taking pictures with?

OMG please move the mic away from the person clapping. #SOTU