airlines sending me “we’re in this together”emails. when my suitcase was 52 pounds i was on my own.

obsessed w my 19 year old coworker who upon finding out i’m 25 has been treating me like i’m on fucking life support

i told a customer good morning and he said “time means nothing to me” he’s the only person i’ve ever respected

what doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy

people who sleep while hugging a pillow are the most touch starved people ever

the feminine urge to say “ouch” when i bump into things that doesn’t even hurt

PEOPLE WHO SMILE AT YOU WHEN U MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THEM ARE MY FAVORITE KIND OF PEOPLE

cleaning is actually therapeutic... WHEN I’M NOT FORCED TO DO IT

just learned from my therapist that being raised by emotionally immature parents means you’re treated like an adult when it’s convenient for them, but a child if you go against what they’re wanting

my ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad i was and she’s smiling thinking she’s made it in life. two idiots. 😂

(at family dinner) so how’s everyone enjoying our last name

i can’t imagine having 2 free days out of the week and using 1 for church

no girl wants to hear about another girl bro

nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest

i hate a man who’s ran through and still not good at sex like hoe why are you not learning

it’s so awkward when i finish a movie and i really enjoyed it just to come online and see people saying it’s the worst movie they ever seen

stretching my back isn’t enough i need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel

the era where you dropped ya phone and ya battery flew out was just crazy.

men: “i hate drama.” also men: love triangles, secret kids, a wife, three side chicks, an ex who still texts, AND unresolved trauma. sir.. you ARE the drama.

CHASE EVERYTHING YOU WANT EXCEPT LOVE AND DEATH THEY WILL FIND YOU WHEN IT’S TIME