It seems contrived and poetic that appealing and appalling are composed so similarly.

We have been moving since May. We won’t be in our new house until the end of this month at the soonest. In the show of life, we’d love to get even a few filler episodes instead of advancing the plot every single day.

The measure of a good ministry for toxic pastors is the people that quietly survive the landing no matter how rough the ride was. The plane plunged 300 feet over the mountains because the pilot was poorly trained but then leveled out again & landed? Success story. (5/10)

Have you ever wanted to be one of the people who catches a shirt from the stadium cannon?

It’s bonkers being at a sporting event and seeing the players just…stand around while the TV is shilling crypto and gambling.

Once upon a time, two teams decided to trade quarterbacks. One team went on to win the Super Bowl. The other team ended up better overall.

What is it about apt cooktops that they’re either 19000C or barely warm enough to melt an ice cube?

In the 2020 election, a lady came by my house to hand out political flyers. I was out wheeling my trash bin down to the road. I won’t say which political party she was with, but she asked if my parents or the homeowner was around.

The traditions of my forefathers. *pops a Lipitor with a Tums chaser*

Did we…or some of us…grow since 2016? It’s like I’m walking around a charred forest, and seeing tiny flowers beginning to poke through.

Your chances of being able bodied your entire life are slim to none. It’s always in your best interest to advocate for a more accessible world

Whoopie Cushion: the Rubik’s Cube you solve with your butt.

In every race, there’s that candidate you only hear about for the first time in October, and you think “Huh. They seem reasonable, but I have literally never seen them before”. And then you never see them again.

This poke bowl doesn’t even TASTE like pikachu. Smells like him tho.

My niece: you know LADY bugs? I found a MAN bug. 😬 Me: 😬

I think many of our lives run perpendicular over the course of time. In the moment, it might have felt parallel.

A realization I’m having as an adult who once was a gifted/golden child: my closest friends are people that I have never once felt the need to impress.