also everyone admire my son's cute lil socks

Today the baby had a weird night and had trouble settling. He is now asleep draped sideways on me, wearing a nappy and socks and nothing else because any other fabric covering him was apparently unbearable.

Babies are little weirdos

Things my son has not technically said but has heavily implied: 'Burping is an INDIGNITY, mother, and just because I DID burp doesn't mean I NEEDED TO.'

Put the arts back in schools and never let them leave again. Because now I understand how STEM only schools have not led to Innovation or critical thinking skills. Disinformation is prospering as a result

We’ve always experienced the friend who swears they are sooooo empathetic.

But mostly just wants an audience

And we have the friend who claims to hate people

And is the most giving generous person

One of the reasons being a newborn is clearly very difficult is all the reflexes they have that will fade out over the next few months that rob them of control of their limbs.

Of these, the cutest is the startle reflex. I am forever resisting the urge to surprise him on purpose

All My Exes Live In Exas still works

the way this suddenly made me acutely aware of my own conviction that if you want to look class and manly you should have well-polished brogues

The thing is these guys a) are handsome and b) probably have, like, personalities and skills other than 'muscular!!' so they don't feel like every outfit needs to show off their muscles to the max

I mean, generally, those people are from outgroups who are most affected by the early tremors before they become overwhelmingly blatant, and we value those people less, as people, sooooo. Yeah.

Honestly shoutout to the costume department on Seinfeld, these outfits are immaculate

'is it really a good place to sleep if it's not making some part of a parent go numb' - my son, apparently part cat

Watching this really makes me think about the blurry line between courage and insanity

Everyone is eliminating every DEI spot, no one is citing Black people and sources, and the Republicans have a plan to roll back civil rights

But please keep boosting them with no reflection

Candice Bergen is so good at playing a bitch I assume she has to be truly lovely actually

what they warn you about: night feedings and sleep deprivation

what they don't warn you about: newborns will be hungry for four hours straight and will make room for the milk by also pooping for four hours straight