Pooping is 90 percent mental

Don't mind me... just smoking some #crack

Definitely top 3-5 most heralded Russian writer ever—'underrated'?

Elusive twitter billionaire Joseph Kerr

I'm taking the piss and you'll do fuck all about it

Women are blessed with an extra layer of insulating fat, and yet they still find reasons to complain

You don't see tetherball poles very often these days

'Every cook can govern' - Andrew Jackson

TFW you're about to go meet her parents for the first time

Got a cat

As many of you may be interested to know, my 22 year-old co-worker is no longer my 22 year-old co-worker, not only because she's now my gf, but also because she just turned 23. Also happy to report that we are now in full compliance with the age/2 +7 years guidelines.

LL Bean is short for Ladies Love Bean

Hitler was a fascist, y'all

My haters just asked if I'm hiring

Nothing quite like a nice glass of water

It's so awesome when a guy references his brothers because it means he has two or more brothers

I have an older coworker who's always trying to give me life advice. Today he suggested that I join the National Guard, said I'm 'an outstanding personality', that I would be a 'shoo in' to be made a 'young officer'. A new Bonaparte?

I have Trump Derangement Syndrome

Pure sophistry—the same as ever. Does anyone actually believe this?

Pre-1939 Hitler was probably second only to Thomas Jefferson in his ability to acquire territory through diplomacy and sheer luck