City girls music so mean. Like I don’t deserve no pussy cause I’m financially unstable? Like no pussy at all?

Only hoopers cum

She garf on my jon til I odie, that shit ain't nermal

Ah yes, something we have all done at some point. Eat dinner at a restaurant.

Ever since I found that gun on the sidewalk, I feel much more comfortable getting into confrontations with strangers. In fact, I often go out of my way to cause issues. You could say it’s changed my life

Two thugs accost me and my date: give us all your money Her: eek! I only have 25 buck- Me shushing her: we’re only gonna have one shot at this. I know we just met, but I can tell our love’s true..NOW *I transform into a sword* Me: quickly! Wield me! I clatter to the ground

Worked up the courage and asked my boss if he wanted to collaborate. "On what?" he asked. Whoa. I hadn't prepared for a question like that. I apologized and went back to my register. I guess there's a reason he's the boss and I just handle the cash. I've still got a lot to learn.

Italiano suicido

i like when animals are named after the thing they do like flies and horse

the "raw dogging" a flight meme is really weird to me because i barely ever wore a condom on a plane, even as a kid, i just thought it was normal to go in there raw

This account is a safe space for people with unique ideas who think differently

You are probably the least convincing, least trustworthy person ever in your position. I was there for Dick Cheney. You have all his malice, but with the added insecurity of spending the first 20 years of your life acting as a living Barbie for a council of chain smoking grandmas

Iran bomb Atlanta right now on bro we not scared of shit

Everyone around me thinks I’m wearing regular business casual clothes. They have no idea I’m clad entirely in moisture wicking, flexible athleisure fabrics. I could unleash a burst of athleticism at any moment.

BREAKING: Epstein Beats Weiner

Hey just wanted to say your wedding was a lot of fun! Tell your brother he danced so lithely I thought him an eel.

2013 is about love. Dont kiss people 'ironically' this year. Look at them in the eyes and say "This is real" then press your lips into them.

I need every bad bitch up in Equinox. I need to know right now if you're a freak or not.