When ever you feel you are at your lowest, always turn to Star Trek... This isn't my life, this is a really shitty holodeck program... thats all it is.. thats all it is.... Also here is a funny Jean-Luc Picard Meme...

Time machine fantasy! Go back and cast David Mitchell and Robert Webb to star in Weird Science. #TimeMachinefantasy

Last call doodle, but on the level never drive inebriated! You can destroy your life and end the lives of others. #sober

Where ever you are living, learn the driving rules of that area. This avoids frustration for you and everyone else. #AZ

I don’t get cat people who let their cats out. Do you honestly just not care if it ever comes back? Then it comes in the House, do you wash it every time? #wtfcatpeople

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I like to think in an alternate universe Coco never was lost and he's on reruns right now. #thegoldengirls

Rodney Dangerfield started his career as a comedian when he was 45 years old. Gets you thinking about your own life.

Listening to @DelShores is so inspirational. You can at any point change your life for the better.

I drew this illustration while visiting Arizona in 2013, and here I am. You just never know what twisted plan the universe has lined up for your sorry butt.

Toys R Us always tried to convince me to buy the store warranty on my toys. Dodged that bullet. #toysrus

Every time I e-mail a client to call me when ever is good for them, I instantly need to use the bathroom! #comeon

I think we are all guilty of putting posters in ill fitting frames. It's not good, we should all strive to be above it.

Every one in my home keeps talking about " The Big Scissors " for one reason or another. #thebigscissors

I don't believe in Horoscopes, it's a ridiculous thing to put any stock in.... However, I think I'm only going to believe for the month of April 2018 because I got a real good one! #falsehope

I'm like a lit cigarette alone in as tray by itself, I've realized Ive made a complete ash of my self.

I loved my 91 powder blue Ford Taurus. The style started to go down hill in the mid 90s do better to let it die. x.com/conanobrien/st…

Heat makes me mean.

Robot callers? Answer the phone with " what is your favorite color?" Robots don't have a favorite color. #robotcallers

In typical Eddie Auletta fashion, he pulled off the impossible again! ❤️ Ed Auletta is the best! THANK YOU!