"Uh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for 10 years, and, uh, I think I know how a proton accelerator works." "Well, please come down and show us." "All right. I will..."

This dog's name was Gunner. My uncle brought him back from WW2. He was raised and slept under my uncle's anti- aircraft gun. The gun crew shared their rations to feed him. By the time he was 18 months old, my uncle said he would stand up and look at the sky. If he laid back down

"The students are over-stimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms." "I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"

Bad cops, bad cops! Bad cops, Bad cops...🎵

Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard!

After he won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1957, Albert Camus wrote a letter of thanks to his favorite childhood teacher, whom he'd never forgotten. It's beautiful.

Writing every hand I play in #WSOPMainevent Day 1 & emailing them to whoever wants it. The good, the bad, the ugly; see it raw & unfiltered. Giving 1% of my Main Event winnings to 1 person who likes, retweets, & replies. Must follow @farazjaka Link to all hands in 1st reply 👇

To celebrate a big milestone, I'm giving away $1,000 each to 100 people! Just follow me and retweet this post to enter. Winners will be chosen on July 15 and contacted via DM. Good luck!

1% GIVEAWAY of my #81 WSOP $10.000 Main Event🤍 We made it to Day 3 of the WSOP Main Event with ~40 BB. I’ve decided to give away 1% of my action on Instagram and 1% here on X. Enter the giveaway with this steps: ✅ Follow me Jessica Teusl ✅ Retweet, Like and Comment on the

Simpsons references can be obscure For this we actually had to do research - in pre-internet days - to write the joke (& find delightfully obscure sounding civilization that in some way prized hydro engineering) What's a Simpsons joke that sent you down a reference rabbit hole?

Just a thread of bad stuff happening to Milhouse. Enjoy:

"I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the H.M.S. Pinafore." "Very well, Bart. I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell..."

The Navy SEALs have a strange way of thinking: While everyone else moves forward, they step back. Jocko Willink's oil rig mission exposed why this is the greatest tactical advantage anyone access. The psychology will blow your mind:🧵

I used to be "with it." But then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!

Oh no, the corn! Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke...

A guy filming the incoming tsunami on Kamchatka with his mobile phone while on a walk with his dog.

In 1983, Ritz-Carlton did something wild: They gave every bellboy, maid, and doorman the power to spend $2,000 per guest... No questions asked. One decision. 40 years of legendary service. Here’s how that one rule changed luxury hospitality forever:

"That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!" "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine..."