Bastard heatwaves 🥵

Didn’t lose a single pound this week. I’m putting that down to water retention due to this heat and not the rather quaffable Freixenet Italian rose I had on Saturday night…

One of us 💔

The greatest legacy you can leave behind is to be remembered with a smile, because you made a difference, and you’ve left millions of us with smiles, although not today. Thank you Diogo Jota. #RetireNumber20

A man in an Everton top paying respects to Diogo Jota—old school fans would’ve seen unity, togetherness and belonging to a city with two clubs. New school sees "attention-seeking," "validation-chasing." Different lenses, different generations. Social media has warped the view.

Prince Andrew declined after learning it was a 20 year old.

💔❤️

If Diaz has done what he’s been accused of, I have no doubt Slot (and his teammates) will deal with him appropriately. In the meantime, I would hope that, as a fanbase, we know better than to believe everything we see in print.

Managed to bowl twice, air hockey, dance mat, Mario kart, then all you can eat Indian buffet today. Wonderful family day out and 💪

Quite catchy 😂😂😂🤦‍♂️

*phones police*

Dear old people: Waking up at 6am, tending to a garden, eating dinner at 5pm, reading books, and going to bed at 9:30pm feels amazing. I was wrong. You were right.

Gregg Wallace made me a sandwich then cupped my balls and said "Whoops! There's that pesky autism playing up again!".

I’ve just seen a bloke going into a funeral in shorts. Every other fella had trousers on so it wasn’t a dress code thing. Shorts. We used to be a country.

If your lasagne is a healthy meal option, you’re making it wrong.

I don’t know how Margaret Thatcher deals with this heat daily

Chemo be chemoing 😴