I kid my Millennial pals. Please do not eat the New Slappin’ Avocado Flavor Tide Power Pods.

Brrrraaaaaaaaaaaandsssssss!

I don’t know much about Andy Reid, but I do know I really, really want some Quaker Oats right now.

Diabeetus.

I hope you folks who emptied every shelf in the county of toilet paper have explosive diarrhea for the next two weeks. I want you to really get your money’s worth.

Hey federal government, if you really want to provide some relief, send me something I can wipe my ass with. That $1000 check is going to last one morning, maybe two if I tear the pieces up small.

I'm serious about that, by the way. If you want to greatly calm the public, and decrease the concentration of people stumbling glassy-eyed through the grocery stores, commit to sending out 4 rolls of TP to every household. You'll witness an immediate and widespread unclenching.

I think it’s gonna be all right, people.

People who record ads for their hilarious new improv podcasts that run for even multiples of 15 seconds are the real heroes.

Hey NOVO Brazil Brewing, if you’d asked me my opinion, I would have told you this was a crazy bad idea. But fortune favors the bold, and it turns out this beer is kind of amazing. Adoro!

This is unfortunate pagination.

Oh no! Low Definition is back! Yep, Steve Lutz is still the host. And That Chip Guy Kathy Campbell (She/Her) Dan Moren isn’t here Monty Ashley Shelly Brisbin and Jason Snell are his unwitting victims—er, unwitting players. theincomparable.com/gameshow/157/

You know, sometimes you think you’re #hungryformore, so you order something big, and then you take one bite and realize you were #notthathungryafterall.

Two things visible from the International Space Station tonight: the Great Wall of China, and Wilmer Flores not going around on that pitch.

God F us, everyone!

Kudos to NOVO Brazil Brewing for having the incredible good sense to send more cans of their sublime Strawberry Milkshake IPA out into the world. I thought I was never going to see it again.

It's the return of Low Definition! Join host Steve Lutz and contestants Tiff, Glenn Fleishman is on Bluésky, Shelly Brisbin, Lex Friedman is @[email protected], Jason Snell, and Kelly Guimont as they try to stump each other with words, phrases, and thumps! theincomparable.com/gameshow/184/

Wait, did you see him go to his ear there? He got something on there?

I think I'll cry hardest of all when Ringo goes.