PRIEST: do you have the ring ME: *still staring into my fiancé’s eyes* yes on dvd

Name a movie that always cheers you up when you're feeling down

Never! That’s a terrible name for a movie!

That’s easily the worst cow I’ve ever seen

Imagine how embarrassing this take would be if the other creator of Seinfeld had made one of the funniest shows of all-time that had no worry about offending people and ended this literal month.

Tutting loudly and shaking my head disapprovingly as I hand another box of matches to my arsonist buddy

To the contrary, I vividly remember watching every episode of season 3 of the Simpsons.

Just thought of an idea I'm vehemently opposed to: one swimmer in each Olympic final is selected to wear a special hat which imbues the wearer with the speed of a speedboat. Not a fan of this idea AT ALL. The special hat is too powerful. We MUST destroy it 😡

Comedian Tim Heidecker tackles the far right’s cancel culture towards Hollywood and the entertainment industry at Comics for Kamala. He nailed it! 🍿

Why am I getting push notifications of pro-Trump posts by people I don’t follow? Elon Musk is such a damned hypocrite. He’s turned this app into an arm of the Trump campaign.

A person I know has started a new business so be sure to check it out 👍

Hollywood is running out of ideas for good films so I have devised some excellent film concepts that the studio bigwigs can have

No. Just Ohio State. Howard plays Hampton on Saturday.

Well, well, well. Looks like your “lazy boyfriend” just made his own sundae.

Sad to have to make this announcement

Halloween Night, 1999

Hey, Elon Musk First Lady Elonia is fat, he can’t jump, and his hair plugs and jaw line surgery make him look ridiculous.

Out of depth man trying to contribute to dinner party conversation when he only has one reference point.

Love seeing Mal Blum on this list between Ben Folds and Billy Joel.

Where’s the “hell no, not in a million years” button?