Never forget who the real enemy is.

When you lied on your resume but still get the job.

I’m on a first name basis with the ER staff.

Yeah, we’re kind of a big deal.

This river is still cleaner than Team Astana.

Been brainstorming post-retirement sports for more pro cyclists... Nairo Quintana — Horse-racing jockey Andre Greipel — Olympic 4-man bobsled Nacer Bouhanni — Duh Mark Cavendish — Short-track speed skating Chris Froome — Sumo wrestling Katie Compton — Elite cyclocross

It is better to finish last than 2nd.

Merry Rest Day!

Hey junior, I met your mother in the feed zone....She was telling me how she likes the sweet spot training

Well that was a shitty season.

Now that Christmas is over, it’s time to start my 26.8lb cut to race weight.

Our offer still stands. Name your price.

The Kings of Twitter have returned. 👑

Boys who take a chainring to the eyeball 😍😍😍>>>>>>>

I’m not telling you to try it. But I am telling you it probably works. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Follow our Instagram (Shit Juniors Say) That’s where it’s at.

My virtual race crashed with a half lap to go, and it terms of effective real life simulation, I can tell you it hurt just as much.

Seeing kids walking to school with face masks on makes me sad

It happens.