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Cause proxy wars aren’t a thing right?

My exes hate me and my friends all miss me I wanna drown in rotgut whiskey

Fuck this humidity.

Woulda kept coming back with different disguises on like Count Olaf

stay the fuck away from her

Gotta shake that shit off and get back to the fuckin money!

I was funnier when I was depressed and hated life.

Whoever threw that glass bottle at me on the freeway.. you missed bitch! and your moms a hoe

Them racks give u a feeling a hoe can’t

Why are trash cans so fuckin expensive.

Why does Twitter tell me I have a notification if I can’t fuckin see it 😑

When you are on a first date with the nicest woman you’ve ever met in a friendly game of bowling

Luke Bryan stinks

RFK finally said the quiet part out loud. The CIA interfered in the 2020 election in broad daylight and we all know it. Indisputably. Factually. Zero consequences. Zero accountability.

Fuck the BMV. Not the woman behind the counter that helped me tho.. She was nice.

going back into work today after the three day weekend

“Coke in the living room, this no regular life sellin crack to my own uncles for the regular price”

They stop carding you once the light has left your eyes.

I’ve got so much shit to do today so I will simply do none of it.