Do you have a second?

My commitment to free speech extends even to not banning the account following my plane, even though that is a direct personal safety risk

Does my kid care that he opened his eyes at 4:55am today, wide awake and babbling until he’s blue in the face? Absolutely not. Relentless.

I can’t fake anything. my tone, energy, and body language is direct af.

Prefacing this with: I was definitely not raised in a home-cooked-meal-family. The most homemade dish my mom ever made was banana pudding. That being said, I made meatloaf (1st time ever), baked garlic parm potato wedges + roasted Italian carrots for dinner 😋

Crime Junkie is based out of my home state and they recently started podcasting out of a studio with a staff of ~30 people and if you THINK I won’t make an hour and a half commute just to work literally any position in her office you are w r o n g.

I’ve struggled with being able to sit and watch a full movie lately because I get bored but Fall was so fucking good holy shit my palms were sweating the entire time.

WHY ARE BASIC NEED GROCERIES SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE?!?

Cyber Monday >>>> Black Friday

If you invite me to a party and you’re the only person I know there, understand you will be babysitting me the entire night. Oh you have to go to the bathroom? Bitch me too let’s go

I honestly hate "informal" work culture. I don't want to go for drinks after work every other day. I don't want to be in a big whatsapp group texting each other about TV shows. I don't want them to know every aspect of my life. Let me do my job & leave me alone.

Pro tip: check the yard REALLY well before you start mowing.

Christmas is cool and all until your family separates. I’ll have spent almost $300 just on different family dinners alone this Christmas. 😭