I don’t know the difference between a Jack Ryan and a Jack Reacher and I refuse to learn

RTE’s three hidden accounts being named Active, Astus, and Miroma makes it sound like they were running the Weapon X programme.

“slurp slurp. interlinked. yes yes yes ice cream so good. interlinked. thank you lopez. interlinked. gang gang. interlinked. slay haha. interlinked.”

This woman is playing the world's hardest game of BopIt and it terrifies me...

Should anyone be bailing out of this nightmare, I am also on BlueSky (provided I’m not part of why you’re fleeing) bsky.app/profile/sirjol…

Can we please refer to “verified” accounts as “X-positive”?

We didn’t deserve Sinéad O’Connor

Dr, draping stethoscope around neck: Well, Michael- Me: Mickey's alright. Dr: Mickey, there's no other way to say this... you're- apart from the hickies, you're fine. In fact, you're so fine, it's having a deleterious effect on my mental health

In my first book of literary theory, i put forward the idea that Barthes didn’t go far enough. You can buy “Death to the Author” later this month

Beo caught me wulfin’

Say what you will about the Borg, they get free healthcare, homelessness is zero, none of them seem to be depressed…

Cannot believe Mozart’s late-career shift into chocolate/marzipan. Gotta respect that kind of hustle.

I guess I just see it as an emotional support job

In France they don’t call him “Pitbull,” they call “Monsieur Globale”

I wonder if this lad has to put down his massive mug of unadulterated brain poison to post this stuff

Just used alcohol at the worst time, when I was the sole legal guardian of six Pokémon, who I will now divulge Charmeleon Metapod Skitty Poliwag Taillow Egg I used alcohol while these 6 relied on me in Viridian Forest. I got blackout drunk in Viridian Forest. Say their names

“How do you plead?” “Extremely guilty, but even more extremely wealthy, your honour.” *Gavel bangs* “Case dismissed.”

If I were Manu Macron, Président de la France, and I were hosting the olympics, I would simply call Knights of the Empire, Daft Punk, out of retirement for one last job…