⸻ 𝓘 𝑎𝑚 𝑚𝑦 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 son ᴀ 𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔢𝔪 ᴏғ 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 rejoice , 𝑎𝑠 𝙬𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 will 𝘩𝑜𝑤𝑙 ✧☾

i know. they should give me a second DLC. [ he grins, sipping on his cocktail. ] why are you fighting a rock, anyway? more importantly, how are you getting your ass beat by a rock?

oh, poor you. [ he sighs, and then pulls out a comically large hammer from thin air. ] here. hit it on the blatantly obvious weak point. that should do it.

[ a shrug. ] found it. don’t worry about it. are you going to destroy that boulder or not.

oh, yes please. i could do business with those. [ aaaaand he goes back to sipping his mimosa. ]

[ SQUINTS ] that guy kinda looks like my roommate

ow—hey! watch it with the pointy ends! [ he scrambles a lil. huffing, before looking at the hoard and picking it up. nodding. ] impressive. see? i told you you could do it. [ grinning as he pockets the gems, humming. ] i am a great teacher.

first of all, ew. [ oh yeah he's the weird vegan octavo. hmph. ] second—now why would i do that? isn't offering you a house rent-free, awesome, never-seen-before weapons, and priceless life advise enough for you?

[ a SIGH. a GROAN, even. ] fine, fine. how about i take you out and you order your damn steak, yeah? [ he doesn't like when people talk about the kindness of his heart. it makes him look weak. ] i'll throw in a healing spell, too. final offer.

get shrimped idiot

can't a man celebrate the day the fates blessed this world with the birth of the one i love most? [ she chuckles. nuzzling a little into his back, holding tighter. ] you are the one thing worth celebrating, my king. my undead heart feels most alive because you are here with me.

why did i say this

sometimes i fear i look too much like my father

🎶/ yearning so bad for good old rauronia. i wanna write sonia again but who would be my rauru 💔

are you Sure

hmmm. a shame!