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In today's news, a two-tonne rhino escaped from the Springfield Zoo. But zoo officials were quick to act, and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity. In other news, a three-tonne rhino that escaped from the zoo last week is still at large.

I was on my way to the Harrisburg Coat Outlet to buy an irregular coat, but it required a stopover in New York City...

You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going... prison!

Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike: argle-bargle or foofaraw? With us tonight are plant owner C.M. Burns, union kingpin Homer Simpson and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce Brothers.

"The students are over-stimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms." "I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"

'Cause there's limits to our liberties, Least I hope and pray that there are, 'Cause those liberal freaks go too far! 🎵

Look, Maggie, Christopher Walken's reading Goodnight Moon!

Well, Mr. Burns had done it the power plant had won it With Roger Clemens clucking all the while Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile While Wade Boggs lay unconscious On the barroom tile! 🎵

And I say England's greatest prime minister was Lord Palmerston!

You can't have that one! That's a coconut cake!

Oh, there's mother now... watching me...

Remember how I got Milhouse's picture on America's Most Wanted?

You stay on your side, and I'll stay on my side... D'oh!

Star Trek XII: So Very Tired...

Bad cops, bad cops! Bad cops, Bad cops...🎵

Here's Eastern Europe's favourite cat and mouse team, Worker and Parasite!

Now, if The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

"Uh, now, before I execute this order, are you sure you understand the risks of stock ownership?" "Absolutely..."

Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard!

You know, these days, I'm more surprised when I log into Twitter and find it's actually working properly!