Carlos is majestic

Women say they're speechless then text the Gettysburg address

People who flake are arguably the worst kind of people

If you’re praying on my downfall, plz pray harder. Let’s wrap this shit up

Chick fila tenders are the best thing on the menu, they were exquisite

Summer is anti fat ppl, I can’t even go outside w out immediately starting to sweat thru my shirt. #chubs

Getting denied at moodys has to be the most morally degrading thing I’ve ever experienced. #aginglikefinewine

Telling my bookie “don’t be a hero” when I fade him for my balance Monday.

Mid drive back to austin and my CarPlay stopped working in the middle of fkn “la grange” this is arguably one of the more infuriating things that I’ve experienced in recent times

Imagine waking up and you’re a Maltese. You check your collar, it says butter. You turn to your left and see a 23 year old Asian retard hunched over his desk rambling to himself about his Georgia SAE football roster. He turns around, and snatches you up. Say cheese!

Put me in coach😞

Lebron James is the greatest player to ever touch a basketball

I am down cataclysmic

By a landslide

A starving man never turns down food

Our deepest sympathy goes out to the loved ones of Jaden Hullaby.

Only one right answer

Do people actually eat at fkn Burger King? Haven’t been to that place since the Mac and Cheetos (exquisite item)