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Is alcohol just Botox for feelings?

Today at the final of the World Cup, I only hope the players on the field and the whole world remembers that there’s a man and fellow footballer called Amir Nasr, on death row, only for speaking in favor of Women’s rights.

I support the people of Ukraine fighting for their freedom I support the people of Iran fighting for their freedom They are BOTH important and deserve international support. When doing press it was very clear that no outlet wanted to talk about Iran. Why do you think that is?

#NewProfilePic

Why is it that when I drink 17 Bubbly’s I’m still thirsty?

OMG

Going last minute shopping at the mall to give myself a few more anxiety rides before the year is done.

Santa’s sus bro

The way I have been quietly making this world a better place by dating your sons. 🫶🏽

Toronto is that girl who only looks good in certain lighting.

It is so clear that this year flexing your wealth on socials is OUT and giving it away to me is in.

You guessed it: it's time for another WRONG! We're back in action for January at The Roguelike Tavern with a dynamite lineup: @fifidosch @annavisfunny & Tiny Grievance ! Plus some kickass audience prizes for a lucky few... Reserve your seats here: eventbrite.com/e/wrong-a-dark…

Is your buccal fat in the room with us right now?

No one wants to see a man feeling himself.

Petition to start calling Jennifer Coolidge J.Cool. We have J.Lo and J.Law and she is arguably the realest and the funniest.

Thanks for selling out #straightforpaycomedy last night!!! We’re back NEXT TUESDAY with @calebsaysthings ashley ray Ever Mainard Tiny Grievance @likekaliscott !!!! Tix at caraconnors.com/tickets #lacomedy #losangelescomedy #LGBTQ

The Irish exit but for people who don’t appreciate you.

Am I ‘serious’ orrrrr are you not funny?

I just don’t believe that 20 year olds actually exist. You may have been born in 2003 but you’re at least 30.

At an open mic in LA and there’s a Canadian dude here who just said ‘we didn’t have Black people in Canada till 1995 and they all came there willingly’ ☠️☠️☠️