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Humans with siblings have better survival skills because they've had experience in physical combat, psychological warfare, and sensing suspicious activity via interactions with the other spawns of their parents.

Raise your hand if you agree 🙋‍♂️

Animals don’t understand the concept of an accident. Your dog thinks you got out of bed in the middle of the night just to kick him in the head.

We devote 18 years of our lives to study so that we can spend 40+ years of our lives working our asses off, just so that we don’t have to work for 15-20 of them.

Being afraid to check your bank account is the adult version of being afraid to check your grades.

Girls have to kiss a frog to get a prince, whereas guys just kiss a princess to get a princess. Seems like an allegory for women-led to believe that they can change a guy, whereas girls are supposed to just be perfect from the beginning.

When you dream, one portion of your brain creates the story, while another part witnesses the events and is really shocked by the plot twists.

Lonely people fantasize about cuddling more than they fantasize about sex.

True happiness is not having to set an alarm for the next day.

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Lemons are not a naturally occurring fruit, it's a crossbreed between a male citron and a female sour orange, so life never gave us lemons we gave lemons life.

Humans are 75 percent water. Basically, we are cucumbers with anxiety

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the day off.

The dumbest wish we all made as a kid was wanting to be a grown-up.

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello. My first instinct when I see a human is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Earlier it was like what does not kill you makes you stronger, nowadays it is what does not kill you mutates, and then tries to kill you, over and over again.

It’d be cool to see a list of all the people who ever had a crush on you.

We are very lucky that oxygen isn’t distributed unevenly like every other natural resource.

Working your whole life just to enjoy few years when you are close to death is one of the biggest scams.