imagine your mom calling you fighting for her life but you put your iphone on DND

i accidentally said “big” instead of “grande” at starbucks and they took me behind the store and shot me in the leg

my mom warned me about drugs not women under 5'5

who tf decided it was called "emotional baggage" and not "griefcase"?

caffeine ain’t workin anymore. i need someone to text me “we need to talk”

fuck a heartbreak you ever drop your food

if someone makes a joke and your girl laughs move on you lost her

if i say “huh” like 3 or 4 times, don’t say nvm. don’t give up on me, i’m trying 😭

sex is cool and all but have you ever gone back to sleep and the dream continues where it left off?

animals are so funny you can name your own dog iPhone 14 and he won’t know wtf goin on

nipple piercings on girls with no tiddies is like a sheet of paper with staples in it

this is your daily reminder that you are not OTF, 4KT, 4PF, WOO, GDK, or BDK

exactly a year later and i still can’t believe some guy mailed his cum to his egirlfriend for this

y’all wild asf

every girl that went out without their man this weekend was like this at some point

robert got extorted out of luhblix LMFAOOO my homie run dat shit now

i ain’t forget

I found out she was always into goofies. I was never her type