Is anyone else getting approximately 1 million emails per minute from the DCS??!!

Is everyone else crying and doing unconvincing Welsh accents right now?

Nice try Baron Trump but you’re still no Gary Barlow’s son

“The attempt on my life has left me scarred…but my resolve has never been stronger!!” Did we just watch the inauguration of Emperor Trumpatine?! #WithThunderousApplause

If anyone is writing a really niche poem about a canine services business carrying out their trade with carefree abandon, then “devil may care” rhymes nicely with “doggy day care”. Ok, it’s a pisser that the word “care” is used twice, but to be fair you’re getting this for free.

RIP to the grumpiest and most unreasonable room-mate any of us ever had! Give em hell up there CH xx

Amazing find by this dog - some Roman kid’s 10th birthday balloon, totally preserved and still full of gas even after all these years

“Wildgoose” is an actual surname. And “Chase” is an actual first name. My mate said there’s bound to be someone out there with both names, so a few weeks ago he set me the task of finding out. Still no luck. Part of me thinks he’s done this deliberately, just to waste my time.

Watching Cobra Kai and sometimes you actually forget this guy was in it

Anyone who knows anything about toxic wanker masculinity, and fighting, and things kicking off in town when lads are on the drink knows that Vance started that. #TrumpZelenskyMeeting

Ah, now that’s more like it 🇺🇦 🇬🇧 ❤️

I’d like to thank truck drivers across the UK for leaving those free bottles of yellow drinks at the roadside for us to grab during long drives. It really makes a difference lads so thanks, what with the extortionate prices that service stations charge. Fair play to you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Tariff solution Donald J. Trump : Tell the world you were just proving a point. We will all agree you’re very clever. Then save us all from the recession that was, but for your deliberate and clever 180, going to occur. You are a master manipulator. This is manipulation 101.

Ok, no tariffs on belts. Or hair pieces. #RecoveryBegins

Right Mr Trump, how much has your existence cost me today I wonder? #NotCheckingPensionTil2029

In the 1980s Donald Trump told us, in The Art of the Deal, that we should “ask for triple, accept double”. He’s bang on with that, to be fair. Inspired by his words, I would like Donald to fuck off 3 times. But, being reasonable, I am willing to accept him fucking off twice.

I wish I understood the stock market. 0900: ok let’s go 0901: ok that’ll do for today, bye!

Or has he made you ask this question because he would rather be seen as an evil overlord than be thought of as an imbecile? I totally get conspiracy theories! What larks! 👽

Today I learned that I am definitely more trial advocate rather than lawyer. It was fun doing a case stated, watching 2 über-brains go back and forth at each other, speaking a language I think was English. 2 hours felt like a day’s work! Give me a witness and a jury any day!

If I have ever made you laugh or even just irritated you, please send a quid to my mate’s daughter Emilia (a real life Mandalorian warrior who loves cosplaying). The family are at the making memories stage so please chip in if you can. This is the way. gofund.me/b56d85d1