I would blow the tonsils right out of her...

Hi Brandon Katz

If I had a wife and she didn't suck my dick every night, she wouldn't be my wife anymore

That's a good idea for a dildo. 28 spline dildo

You gotta bleach it. Like my asshole

I'm thinkin bout jerkin off. I haven't done it in a day

With all this talk I'm going to have to go "J" one off when we get back

My dick is hard

I was hungover the other day and tried to J one off. I think my dick turned into a vagina

I walk around with a boner almost all day you just can't tell

I did J-off once today already so I should be good for a little while

On second thought, I may have to bust out a couple knuckle children when we get there

This road is giving me blue balls

If I can reach 100 followers I'll let someone give me a blow job

It's going to be hard to explain to everyone that we didn't bring the cars back because I had to haul the whale I banged back on the trailer

Whoever just unfollowed me owes me 20 hand jobs upside down

This song makes me want to start spankin it

My wiener is pulsating I have to pee so bad

Oh nicki minaj, please have my ugly children!

Dude Katz, you should look at my nuts. These fuckers look weird.