A second plane with a boys soccer team will be crashing into the wilderness next season to hijack the show

Can you feel me looking at your location on find my friends, do you feel like there’s an angel watching over you

men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over

If my wife was doing this with her coworker I’d kill myself in a public space

Can’t wait until they unify all the apps into a new app called cable.

the category is: should’ve gone to paris but stayed with mediocre boyfriend instead

his strength to keep on living is admirable

NEED WHATEVER KIND OF ANTIDEPRESSANTS HE'S TAKING... theyre doing wonders considering hes still alive

People being like “oh you care about Kirk being murdered but you don’t care about school shootings” I care about both because I’m not a fucking psychopath. I’m talented that way.

just got fired. it wasnt related to online posting or anything. ive stolen thousands of dollars of office supplies.

out of the oven!

i've played these series finale endgame games before I'VE PLAYED THEM BEFORE

mike: i’m gay will: i’m vecna steve: and when i’m back in chicago

Babe I’m trying!

I can sit in a warm, gasoline-powered vehicle idling in my garage for the rest of my life.

Every fucking one of these documents is like From: <███████> To: jeevacation@ gmail. com Subject: Crimes I loved killing all those people with you last week. Do it again soon? Sent From My iPad