You're wrong, physiotherapist! A knee should make a strange clicking sound. It's a mark of good health.

You can use him as a piñata?

That's the street price. It might be higher if you buy organic from a farmer's market.

England made a crucial error. They introduced their colonies to sports they invented.

Christmas dinner is going to be totes awks with Andrew's chair empty.

"We're against digitalisation and don't want to be watched by Big Brother!" they cried, on Facebook.

"Here's what the media doesn't want you to see!" they shout, posting a link to news footage.

Romance 2.0

There’s a fine line between dry January and getting so drunk over Christmas that you take a month to sober up

How are rocket launches going? And the landings?

You made it through January without alcohol; now you just have to make it through another eleven months without hope

According to LinkedIn, I appeared in ten searches last week. None of them were a search for happiness.

I would also point out that a genuine Willy Wonka experience would result in multiple unexplained deaths/disappearances.

Is it considered unprofessional to include the phrases "pant-shittingly drunk" and "crippling hangover" in an out-of-office response?

I would have thought the family paedophile brought humiliation.

This would probably beat the versions told by Gilbert Gottfried and Bob Saget.

I can no longer keep quiet and feel I must speak out. I've been complicit in an egregious form of disinformation. Banarama, while Robert De Nero may be waiting, he is "speaking Italian" NOT "talkin' Italian". As 80s music fans, we've been silent about this for far too long.

"It's a big building full of sick people, but that's not important right now"

Avoid LinkedIn for the next week. It's filled with "Here's what the Olympics can teach you about venture financing/crypto strategies/leadership" type posts from folks who are neither Olympians nor good at their jobs.

There is ambiguity here that I feel we need to clear up. Are we saying "men and women will both be sleeping with robots, but women more so"? Or will women choose robots over men? Sloppy editing imo.