my new years resolution is to only fart in my sleep so i don’t have to smell them

my new show concept: cheddar chad and bradley biscuit. they go on a bunch of adventures and always end up on top of each other. lots of sexual tension.

i feel like being mean to house less people is just so hobophobic

why is it “i spy with my LITTLE eye”,what is the little eye?

karma is not a bitch. that’s so rude. she’s just doing her job. karma is a #girlboss

i’m convinced i’m in a simulation. not because of any “glitches in the matrix” but because of all these NPCs walking around. y’all r too predictable. i’m bored

no time to shower? remember: a blow job a day keeps the smegma away. follow for more tips :)

you know, a boy period is just pooping

i DIDNT fart. that was just my spirit leaving my body. it’s called ASStral projecting for a reason guys.

just skin timberlake is just gordon ramsay

i may have small boobs but i have big boob energy

i’d be really embarrassed if i drove a peepee pooser

tits out for tim robinson

call me spaghetti cuz i am sauced up

Hi! Today, I’m just your average girl. But not too long ago, I was annoying just like YOU! Make the change today! Just follow the link below: duckbrand.com

i named my butthole ruffles because it has ridges

hey dentists and assistants! maybe come up with a better routine while you’re drilling in my mouth so i don’t have to be subjected to listening to ur boring conversations? 🤷🏻‍♀️

i’m not crazy i just need a psychiatric ward

✨Ladies! These are an absolute MUST 🥰 hot girls don’t gatekeep 🥸 this craze is known only by sexy girls💋❤️. But i guess i’ll let u in on it… even tho you might be UGLY 🥲