Florida C Olivier Rioux will reportedly miss the next two weeks due to a gruesome testicular razor burn.

NEWS: Both Saint Louis and VCU Men’s basketball teams are ineligible for March Madness after their brawl last night. After hearing this news, Robbie Avila reportedly broke his nose after head-butting a locker.

NEWS: Comedian Druski to replace Nick Saban on College GameDay for the upcoming season.

Michigan State coach Tom Izzo tells reporters that Jeremy Fears Jr. will be locked in solitary confinement for the foreseeable future. Fears kicked an OSU player in the groin today, adding another controversial play to his resume.

WILD: Miami (Ohio) coach Travis Steele has not changed his underwear since November 3rd. “I’ll change them when we lose.” The RedHawks are currently 27-0, 112 days into the season.

NEWS: Duke freshman Cameron Boozer has been suspended 3 games after coach Jon Scheyer found a mango JUUL pod in his locker.

Amir “Aura” Khan and Audi Crooks are reportedly dating.

WHOLESOME: The Kansas Men’s Basketball team will play against children 12 and under in a charity game next week, raising money to combat world hunger. Darryn Peterson has already ruled himself out for this game.

NEWS: Hanna & Haley Cavinder are exploring a return college basketball, sources tell me. Miami, Florida, and LSU are viewed as the twins’ preferred landing spots.

McNeese State Cowboys’ NIL pitch to get Amir Khan to transfer from NC State just leaked 🤯 - 4 pairs of Meta glasses - Unlimited use of the Collette Hall dining hall - $200 yearly in Subway gift cards + $100 additional for each season he stays at McNeese State

Miami DL Rueben Bain Jr. says his official arm measurements of 30 7/8 inches are incorrect in a new statement: “It’s 31 flat.” A 1/8 inch difference.

BREAKING: Kansas G Darryn Peterson is reportedly pregnant.

Ohio State K Jayden Fielding will not participate in the combine because he feels he has “nothing left to prove.” Fielding missed a 27-yard FG resulting in OSU losing the Big Ten Championship to Indiana.

Michigan G Elliot Cadeau will miss tonight’s game against Illinois after being 30 minutes late to practice. His excuse was due to being on Omegle.

QB Carson Beck’s girlfriend, Abella danger, will speak to NFL teams on Beck’s behalf for today’s Combine. All 32 teams seem to be interested in speaking with her.

BREAKING: Auburn Men’s Basketball coach Steven Pearl has been fired, sources tell me.

Four players of Miami (Ohio) will not play the rest of the regular season after caught doing a “Try Not To Get Caught Challenge” at Chuck E. Cheese after curfew. The RedHawks are currently undefeated with two regular season games remaining.

Darryn Peterson will reportedly host his own TV special until the end of the regular season that will feature his decision on whether or not he will choose to play in future games. Title will be: “The Decision.”

NEWS: Chad Baker-Mazara is no longer part of the USC Men’s Basketball program after officially filing for social security. The 26-year-old’s college career has come to an end.