absentmindedly 'x'-ing out of a popup that says "Would you like to end all suffering?" it never shows up on any computer ever again

beautiful risings Snoopy my doghouse is calling for its Snoopy

[scrolling TL][sees picture of snoopy doing something insanely relatabel][goes to QRT with caption "me"][sees snoopy fan account that posted it already did that][punches a wall]

Baby you're going viral on LinkedIn today. Your face and address and personal details are going viral! They've built a flammable structure, just your size, and won't rest until you fill it. I think it was because you ignored an important notification.

I miss the video store. Walking around, imagining films in my head based on the cover that I would never be able to watch. "Jaws". That could be about anything. Didn't even notice the shark until the 3rd or 4th viewing of the cover

my phone is blowin up with Security Codes that I'm not supposed to share with anyone!!! like a wizened crone entrusted w all the village secrets

Exodus 1:12-14 so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites and worked them ruthlessly. They made their lives bitter with harsh labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their harsh labor the Egyptians tortured them with contraptions

whatever side of twitter youre on they just destroyed you here

ah,,what is your problem

well sir, I figure 2L bottle wine and a couple handleful of xanax outta get me in the type of mood to start messaging damn near every lady I think is gorgeous. If you don't hear from me, best assume I got kicked in head by my hnorse

(crestfallen, in a knightly way) every maiden insists on sucking it from the back which is NOT of the Light!!!!!

explain how this is worth $3000000 in a museum

He exposes his belly because he trusts you. Because he loves you. But not only would it wake him, he would see it as an attack with no provocation. So we let him lie content in the sun. Basest urges tamed. The body subservient to the mind. Now I'm gonna goon to 09s vintage cumpi

The children of bodom are probably all grown up with perms and tiktoks and shit but I bet they secretly still all think Needled 24/7 is a sick song \m/

just met Marilyn Monroe & she took a fat rip of my vape & said "indica or sativa , there's only one strain...the human strain* then she unrobed her tbqh fashionable vest covered in wires and detonated the whole thing killing dozens and injuring many more

miss those Alphabay days when you could get the real shit, I was on 4mg alpro green hulk double-stacks and s2g bro I did a real life rasengan at a Petro-Canada and caused a toxic event