Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile
Modern Seinfeld

@seinfeldtoday

What if Seinfeld were still on the air? (Tweets by @JackPMoore and @JoshGondelman.)

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calendar_today09-12-2012 21:51:41

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Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

George rejects a Tinder girl when all her photos feature multiple girls. E:ā€What if sheā€™s the pretty one?ā€ G:ā€œHow naive can you be, Elaine?"

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Kramer pitches an insane ad to McDonaldā€™s. ā€œSure everyone loves your burgers but what if you made it seem like your burgers loved everyone?"

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

After Elaine's BF logs into his email on her computer, she makes the mistake of searching her name & seeing everything he's said about her.

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A woman accuses George of harrassing her by DM-ing her. G:"I was being friendly!" E:"Oh please.There's no such thing as a 'friendly' DM."

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Jerry takes a date to Tim Whatley's Super Bowl party. She dumps Jerry when he cries at a commercial."What? The dog really loved that horse!"

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Jerry's GF texts in the movies but acts like it's okay because she sits in the last row. GF:Who am I bothering?! J:Me! You're bothering me!

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:ā€Itā€™s too desperate.ā€ J:ā€Howā€™d you find out?ā€ G:ā€Iā€™m on both."

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When Jerry dumps a woman who works for Time Warner Cable, his Internet stops working. She wonā€™t get it fixed unless he takes her out again.

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Elaine has no idea what her BF does for a living and itā€™s now too late to ask. E:ā€œTeacher, I think. Or a doctor? Wait Is ā€˜computers' a job?"

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George refuses to listen to his GF's voicemails, gets dumped. ā€œItā€™s 2015! Send a text! I donā€™t want to hear your voice if I donā€™t have to!ā€

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When the WiFi George usually steals suddenly has a password, he becomes addicted to trying to ā€œhackā€ in. J:ā€œJust get your own!ā€ G:ā€œNEVER!"

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Kramer thinks the NSA is spying on him, so he goes "off the grid." Except he uses Jerry's phone, computer & email. "You're just on MY grid!"

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Elaineā€™s autocorrect makes her look racist in front of her new boss. E:ā€œWhy would they even program that in?ā€ J:ā€œIā€™m sure they didnā€™t!"

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When George falls for a Twitter bot, Kramer claims he once Catfished himself. J:Howā€™s that even possible? K:Oh Iā€™m good Jerry. Iā€™m real good

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Jerry refuses to go to a Cash Only diner. J:"Theyā€™ve seen the credit card! They know the credit card! Itā€™s time to accept the credit card!"

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After her fuck buddy texts her that she should come over to "watch Netflix," Elaine is pissed when he actually just wants to watch Netflix.

Modern Seinfeld (@seinfeldtoday) 's Twitter Profile Photo

George's GF wants a "no phones at dinner" rule. G: "We had a good thing going, Jerry! Now we're supposed to talk? That can only end badly!"