Subway sandwich air strike takes out grandpa

Big thanks to Mitchell & Eve for washing, clothing, feeding and watering me today, been like me hangover parents

Honestly feel like a grandad trying to learn Twitter and that now, swear 30 isn’t even that old

Chippy tea >

Should have seen the army of trick or treaters that came around my mam’s estate last night man, people had even drove their kids here and parked their cars up to come to this estate, mental that.

So me mam and step dad went out for the night and left me to deal with the army of trick or treaters.. I turned all the lights off and shut the curtains so I could have my telly on, didn’t realise they had left a note on the door saying there were no sweets left anyway

Those few loose chips at the bottom of the bag from McDonald’s hit different

#NewProfilePic

If you seen me last night, no you didn’t 💀

Weather like this is just getting me more excited for Monday 🙌 🇦🇺

Are people actually actively sharing their daily horoscopes or is that just an automatic thing? (I’m new here)

Why is there always just so much drama everywhere in London?

That’s the second time I’ve been ordering food and they’ve asked ‘any allergies?’ And I’ve answered with ‘penicillin’ 🫠

So Qatar Airways (the official airline partner of the World Cup) aren’t showing the games live in flight 😅 I feel robbed

Feeling so grateful for life right now 🙌

Are France really complaining about poor refereeing?? 🤯

When are we getting more black mirror?