“I had no idea what my Downing St staff were doing, and I bear no responsibility as PM … I apologised too much for Partygate.”

“We need to have more personal responsibility. There was a time when there wasn’t any maternity pay and people were having more babies.”

So the Tory choice for leader comes to to Badenoch (getting more abhorrent by the day), Jenrick (who is trying to out-Reform Reform) and Cleverly (who joked about using date rape drugs on his wife, while Home Secretary).

This plane is protected. And I name the scariest monster, The Boneless!

You need a catch-phrase, like Graham Norton and "you may still be Nancy."

I have never heard Obama speak like this.

Off to the match in a few minutes.

Aim higher than a microbe. Europa octopi. The Europa Ness Monster.

Jenrick’s three kids are aged 13, 11 and nine. Badenoch’s three are aged 11, 7 and 5. That doesn't seem that different to me.

(🧵) THREAD: Donald Trump is clearly fading mentally and physically. His running mate was handpicked by a Kremlin-agent white supremacist (Tucker Carlson) and two creepy far-right billionaire techno-authoritarians (Peter Thiel and Elon Musk). This is not the election you think.

It’s almost as if letting a handful of untouchable billionaires buy out all our legacy news outlets and social media platforms turned us into an oligarchy in search of tyrant…

When you look at the last U17 women's squad to reach their World Cup semi-finals (in 2008), a lot of familiar names. Lucy Bronze, Jordan Nobbs, Becky Jane, Danielle Carter, Lucy Staniforth, Izzy Christiansen. A 16-yr old named Rachel Daly.

Nigel is so funny. See, this tweet is funny, because it's very funny to say that Black people can't do maths. Nigel is very very funny.

This is a textbook definition of life under fascism. Performing your own censorship to appease the leadership.

They always talk about this in the context of the wife betraying the husband, not vice-versa. Tells you everything you need to know about how they view women.

Trump: "we always have huge crowds and never any empty seats." Cameraman: *pans camera*

When you’ve promised to deport 15-20 million people, “Nothing will stop me from keeping my word” is a chilling bit in a victory speech.

Robert Peston, "Are the British people wrong to want migration to come down?" Zack Polanski, "No, they aren't wrong" "But it's also true they've been pumped stories, negative stories about migration for decades now" "In fact the Prime Minister Keir Starmer said we're squeamish